Matching Scars

Matching Scars

Well it’s been a while, BB’s.  Brunettish BB has had a hard few months.  I had girlie issues “down there” and had to have the ole uterus (AKA “Stella”) taken right on out.  I was pretty miserable.  And I’ll be honest… cause that what we BB’s do… I was mad at God a little.  Yeppers.  This girl of total blind faith was a little... or a lot (since we are being honest) peeved.  I wanted him to step in and save the day… relieve the pain and make me better.  That wasn’t His plan and in the moment of pain and discomfort and missing out on the world, this BB got mad.  And of course felt guilty because of it.  Can I get an “Amen” if you’ve ever been there??

It wasn’t until a day that a friend sent a video of Martin Luther King, Jr., that my heart changed.  I ignored it all day long.  I didn’t want to hear it (although I did ask God to soften my heart).  Finally I listened.  Funny enough, what my friend heard and thought I’d take to heart was not what God planned.  Sometimes God tells us to do stuff and we think we know why, but God has a WHOLE different plan.  Story of my life.  One line, out of the twenty-minute sermon, stuck out…  “Though you slay me, I will hope (trust) in you.”  This wasn’t the first time I heard this verse from Job, and this is exactly why it stuck out.

My blonde BB had introduced this phrase from Job to me in a song… quite randomly.  It is a wonderful song, but I struggled with saying, “though you slay me,” when talking to God.  I thought my God was a kind, loving God that wouldn’t hurt me.  I thought my God wouldn’t put me in the floor of the bathroom in pain.  I thought my God wouldn’t make me feel depressed and anxious.  I thought my God wouldn’t take my momma away far too soon.  I thought my God wouldn’t slay me.  This BB was as confused as a snow monkey in the rainforest.   

Then ole Junior lays it out there with conviction and eloquence.  WOW, what a speaker.  “Though you slay me” isn’t an accusation… It’s a declaration!  It’s giving God total control.  It is saying that “Hey God, you created this BB, do with me what you will!!  I know you didn’t say you’d not tempt or harm me beyond what I can bear; you said you WILL provide a way out when tempted!!  And You never said this world would be a sweet little charming place full of fairy wings and tutus even though Your beloved BB's would try to make it that way.  You said we were not made for this world!" 

HOLLA-LUJAH BBs!!!

It is a declaration that 

NO.  MATTER. WHAT.

I will praise and trust and hope in Him.

He deserves it, doesn’t he?  He created us.  He died for us!  I look down at the scars from the hysterectomy… yes, this BB is more concerned about the scars on my belly than being able to have more babies.  I’m too old for that mess….babies, that is.  The scars weren’t an issue, cosmetically speaking, but it reminded me of the horrible months I had in pain and isolation.  Funny enough, my blonde BB has the SAME scars… from a gall bladder “evacuation”.  That made it better.  But still, every time I looked down (especially as they healed), I cringed. 

Then I thought, “ya know BB (talking to myself of course), I bet Jesus sees me doing that and looks at His hands and feet and thinks about the holes that had been there.  I bet He thinks about his back striped with scars, and the punctures in His brow and the pain His momma and friends felt as they saw what He went through.  I bet He weeps.  Not in regret, mind you, in remembrance.  I’m betting He would never tell us to 'do this in remembrance' without remembering Himself.  He weeps for me when I’m at my lowest.”

I didn’t go through what He went through, but many of us have physically.  Can you fathom how special we are?  At our lowest low… Jesus went through pain and agony and heartache, so we could live forever with Him.  I looked once more at my scars, and heard a voice, “I never have forsaken you.”  BBs, when I thought my God wouldn’t put me in the floor of the bathroom in pain, HE didn't forsake me.   When I thought my God wouldn’t make me feel depressed and anxious, He DID NOT forsake me.   When I thought my God wouldn’t take my momma away, He didn't forsake ME!

BB’s, know this today…

He is our

Creator,

Provider,

Healer,

Father.

He has never, ever forsaken us.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow, BB's!

Though he slay me, I will hope in him.  Job 13:15

XOXO!!
Anna (with Jenny in spirit)

Picture Perfekt

Picture Perfekt 

So hang in there peeps.  Both BBs are writing this one.  Sometimes together and sometimes we are just throwing in our two cents!  We’ll put (J) and (A) as we start throwing in our thoughts.  Just bear with us.  Our brains are quite a hot mess, but we love being transparent and honest with the BB Army.

(J/A) So I’m sure after the weekend, we are ready for the week! Our hearts have been lit up from the wonderfulness of the weekend and then… enter screeching halt… MONDAY comes and reality sets in… and it only goes down hill for there.

Remember those truths we talked about in Picture Perfect? How quickly has the world stolen our attention from them?

The tempter is one sneaky pete. He will do what ever it takes to make sure you forget these promises ASAP. He will use time, work, family, friends, and all sorts of things to cloud your mind so those promises we talked about are just a cloudy memory.

(J) So come close: Ill let you in on one of my secrets...Wanna know his favorite way to cloud this blonde BB's mind? Worry. Guilt. Shame. Anxiety. A voice from the past that says "You.are.nothing. No one loves you."

 

(A) Now this is brunettish BB, so you’ll have to come even clooooooser for my secret of how that sneaky snake messes with my BB brain.  Anxiety.  Illogical panic that reached my core and haunts me about things that happened in my past.

(J/A) Not everyday of course, but there are days he hits us pretty hard. Yep, that’s our thorn BB's. If you know us, you are asking yourself right now WHAT??!!??? Because most of the time you see us smiling and giggling about something or usually nothing. HAPPY.

(A) Let’s be clear, though, it’s not fake smiles or laughter or joy.  (J) It’s not a picture of what we WANT the world to see peeps, its a picture of what CHRIST has done with our brokenness...He has given us a NEW life as a NEW creation and by grace, it just makes us plain JOYFUL.

(A) Now stop and let that truth sink in.  He has given YOU new heart, a new life, and had made YOU a new creation by grace.  He chose to live in YOU! LIVE in you BB.  He is that close all the time if you have accepted Him into your heart!

(J) We will go into our testimonies in the near future, but for now just press pause and know that when He says "I will turn your sorrow into JOY" He means it...and He surely meant it in this little life. I LOVE my brokenness...It makes me LIVING PROOF of His love for me...

(A) It is LIVING PROOF of His grace!! And that, again, we are not made for this world!!  God sees the bigger picture!

(J) So for now lets stick with this: take a moment and make a mental picture of yourself. Your first images are probably like mine...what the WORLD will tell you.

Now read those sweet verses from earlier and add THIS most powerful truth:

"I am fearfully and wonderfully made". Psalm 139:14

An original.

Uniquely made and uniquely loved.

Bought at a price by a PICTURE PERFECT Savior because we could never be.

Whatever road you are on, whatever storm you are in, or whatever mountain you have been raised up on remember:

Jeremiah 29:11 "I have PLANS for you declares The Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a HOPE and a FUTURE."

(A) Now this BB has an issue with the word “perfect”.  A dear friend change the spelling for me, and the grace of God poured over my soul.  I know the spelling shouldn’t matter, but it just took the weight off of having to be perfect… the perfect mom, the perfect employer, the perfect worshiper, the perfect friend, the perfect daughter.  Now when we talk, we spell it “perfekt”.  Isn’t that true though?  God sees us as perfekt.  He sees our flaws, our doubts, our weaknesses and loves us anyway.  He takes that thorn and makes us boast all the more joyfully through our brokenness! Our light shines even brighter in the dark of night!

(J) Doesn't matter what picture the world has of you, or what picture you have of yourself. You have a KING that loves you dearly, uniquely made you for a PURPOSE, gave His very LIFE for you to set you FREE!

(J/A) So take another picture BB's...A perfekt and grace-filled picture of HOPE IN CHRIST. It’s there for you...Just snap the pic :)

Wanna know how to find this hope in Christ? We are ALWAYS here for you! Send us a Facebook message and let us start praying for you now! 

XOXO,

Jenny and Anna

Picture Perfect

PICTURE PERFECT

After taking this picture, Josephine said, "You and Jenny are starting to LOOK like each other!"  This sweet little quote from la petite bb Josephine, after taking yet ANOTHER picture of BB1 and BB2, got our BB brains thinking...

We ARE kinda starting to look like each other! We joke regularly about our fun little language that we have formed, how we now finish each others sentences, how we have non-verbal codes for all sorts of things (enter BLINK BLINK), even how we are ever so slightly stepping out of our proverbial boxes. Anna is ROCKING out dresses with boots and I am TOTALLY into the convenience and cuteness of hats and piggy tails....

This is where we first noticed it…

See… Kinda hard to see who is who…  We honestly confused ourselves in this one!

You see it all the time: spouses that sort of "look" like each other, friends that we lovingly call "Twins" or "Twinkies" as we BB's say it. Heck, some of us BB's are so close our flipping HORMONES like to hang out once a month!

We have, unbeknownst to us, become so close from transparently spending time with each other, that we have LITERALLY taken on certain characteristics and personality traits of one another. A sort of merging or TRANSFORMATION of who we are and what we, not only on the outside look like, but what our HEARTS look like on the inside. We have shared so many stories, prayed for each other so often, giggled at just life in general in the most inappropriate circumstances, shared so many passions that...well, voila! Beautifully Broken was created!

Brunettish BB would like to interject something here… If I had read this a couple of years ago, I’d be sobbing or vomiting.  I LONGED for a friend.  Don’t get me wrong!  I have some of the most beautiful woman that allow me to run to them whenever I need to, but I longed for a day to day friend.  You’ll hear more about our leap of faith friendship when we share our testimonies.  This friendship… like anything… took TONS of prayer…YEARS of prayer.  Ok blonde BB, carry on…

Anyway, there is something much bigger here we would like to address...lets label this one PICTURE PERFECT...(We SO hope the Michael W. Smith song from the 90’s is running through your head right now).

We always want to look perfect for pictures, right? For some of us we want to look perfect for our spouse, our friends, the world...and for this BB, well, I have learned it takes WAY too much energy for all that jazz. What we SHOULD be doing is NOT focusing on the perfect…cause lets face it: we will NEVER BE...We should be focusing on the ONE who IS… and can make all our mess simply beautiful....

Lets start with that word from earlier: TRANSFORMATION. Here’s what the Bible says about how we should and should not look and how our Savior knows STRAIGHT UP we can’t make it happen, so he gracefully helps us out with these sweet promises straight from his saving lips:

I chose the Message translation for these verses because it really stuck to me:

Galations 5:19-26

It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all of the time: repetitive, loveless sex, a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage, frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness, trinket gods, magic show religion, paranoid loneliness, cutthroat competition, all consuming yet never satisfied wants, a brutal temper, an impotence to love or be loved, divided homes and divided lives, small minded and lopsided pursuit, the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival, uncontrolled and uncontrollable addictions, ugly parodies of community...

Yikes...that’s not good stuff huh? How many of these do I see in my OWN life…

But now go on to verse 22:

THIS is the kind of life we thirst for!

But what happens when we live God’s way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard: things like affection for others, exuberance about life, SERENITY. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion IN THE HEART, a conviction that a basic holiness PERMEATES things and people. We find ourselves involved in LOYAL commitments, not needing for force our way in life, and able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.

Don't miss this peeps: the translation for verse 26 via the Message says this:

Each of us is an ORIGINAL

Then Scripture goes on to say (because He KNEW we were gonna be a hot mess):

2 Cor 5:17  

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a NEW creation (holla!!) The old has passed away, behold the new has come!

Galations 2:20 

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh, I live  by the faith of the Son of God, who LOVED me and gave His LIFE for me.

Did you get that!!? Did you hear those words? Yep, he knew we would never be picture perfect. He knew we would try, and we would fail…He also made us for a purpose, because we are all ORIGINALS, not a photo copy of someone the tempter says we are supposed to be. And thank GOD He loves us so much He gave HIS PERFECT LIFE FOR US!!!

So BB's don't miss this precious truth:

We ARE a new creation in Christ!

The past is GONE!

We have HOPE in Him!

Hope that TRUMPS shame, guilt, and sin!

We have a helper that is CHANGING us

Little by Little

Mistake by Mistake

Struggle by Struggle,

Burden by Burden,

and Blessing by Blessing...

How beautiful are these promises? Does your heart SING when you read these words! These promises make us picture perfect to Him, so we can SHINE to those around us!!

 XOXO,

Jen

Mini-Blog: Everyone has lost their brains

August 26th, 2013

Have you ever been standing there and realized everyone you knew had lost their brains?  That solitary moment where you think perhaps its a full moon or invasion of the body snatchers, because everyone has LOST THEIR BRAINS??  One of the hardest parts of being a BB is this very moment.  The moment when I'm literally talking out loud to imaginary people saying, "I have NO idea why you did this.  You have fo sho lost it!  What you did didn't make sense and the entire world...every single person... has lost. their. last. braincell."  Then I realize perhaps I'm losing my last braincell because I'm talking to peeps that aren't there with terrible grammar and made up BB words.

I'm a black and white kind of girl and when my world gets inundated with grey I go spider monkey crazy.  We all mess up...over and over and over.  Some of us are more prone to find the more pungent things in which to step than other BBs.  We are all BBs, none the less.  Then someone yells, "you have lost your brain!"  And the hard part begins... the forgiving part.  Forgiving for a BB is spiritual.  It is ALL God.  Our broken bodies and broken minds and broken hearts couldn't do it alone.  And then the other side of the coin is turning away from the sin that caused the other BB to LOSE.  HER.  BRAIN!  Then there's the forgetting.  I think that's the hardest, because sometimes our feeble minds want a reminder that can serve as a red flag in the future.  It's tough!  Being broken is hard.

God commands us to forgive BBs.  His character is the ultimate example of forgiveness.

He tells us to forgive each other...  Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.  Ephesians 4:32.

How much?  Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.  Matthew 18:21-22

Pretty sure God has forgiven us more than seventy times seven times a million and two.  He loved us SO much that he promised this...  As far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us.  Psalm 103:12 

And this!  Come now, let us reason together, says the LORD: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool.  Isaiah 1:18

And how did he do it?  We all need to go back and remember OR learn that through his grace we were saved!  For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.  For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.  John 3:16-17

Remember that you were forgiven by our Father and Lord and Creator and Healer and Provider.  In His image... therefore our hearts must forgive.  Let the words of this song be your prayer today.  And remember the undeserved forgiveness you were given.  GRACE!  And if you want to talk more about forgiveness, please send us a Facebook message!  We'll chat with you or meet with you.  We love you and so does our great, big, loving, and forgiving God.

Oh the Blood of Jesus

by Kari Jobe

O the blood
Crimson love
Price of life's demand
Shameful sin
Placed on Him
The Hope of every man  

O the blood of Jesus washes me
O the blood of Jesus shed for me
What a sacrifice that saved my life
Yes, the blood, it is my victory
 

Savior Son
Holy One
Slain so I can live
See the Lamb
The great I Am
Who takes away my sin
O what love
No greater love
Grace, how can it be  
That in my sin
Yes, even then
He shed His blood for me

XOXO,
Jenny and Anna

Mini-Blog: The Bold and the Beautiful

August 22, 2013

I'm a little behind in our mini-blogs.  Starting the "back to school" schedule has been BRUTAL, but so exciting.  I'll sleep gooooood once this week is over, and I'm sure I can get an "AMEN" to that!!  I just wanted to stop and remind you that you are beautiful.  You are a broken mess (and when I say "you", I mean me, you, your neighbor, your friend), but you are beautiful.  I'm a hot mess of chaos right now, so I'm gonna change up my usual format.  I pray that you'll let these scriptures wash over you and FEEL beautiful!  Take time to remember that you were created for a reason!

Be still and know that I am God.  Psalm 46:10a

When I called you answered me; you made me bold and stouthearted.  Psalm 138:3

For you created my innermost being;
You knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Your works are wonderful, I know that full well.  Psalm 139: 13-14

(Jesus speaking here)
And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.  So don't be afraid, you are worth more that many sparrows.  Matthew 10:30

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline.  2 Timothy 1:7

Let us then approach the throne of GRACE with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find GRACE to help us in our time of need.  Hebrews 4:16 (emphasis mine :)

Father God, thank you for creating us.  Thank you for knowing every intimate detail of our fragile minds and bodies and hearts.  Thank you for caring for our souls as if they are precious jewels, because we know that they are to you.  We are overwhelmed that the Creator of the universe wants us to know him as Abba, Father.  You ask us to call you by your more personal an intimate name, Yahweh, and we are so grateful.  Thank Lord for this day, thank you for love us, thank you for the chance to serve you. Help us be the bold and beautiful person that you made us to be! Amen.

In the words of my dear friend, Carlos Whittaker, "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  Don't fear being amazing."

Be bold and beautiful for HIM today BBs!! 

XOXO

Mini-Blog: Jesus Calling Moment Brought to You by the BBs

Every morning, both BBs read Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. We encourage you to join us this morning, by reading what she shares with us today...

August 20

I am a God who heals. I heal broken bodies, broken minds, broken hearts, broken lives, and broken relationships. My very Presence has immense healing powers. You cannot live close to Me without experiencing some degree of healing. However, it is also true that you have not because you ask not. You receive the healing that flows naturally from My Presence, whether you seek it or not. But there is more—much more—available to those who ask.

The first step in receiving healing is to live ever so close to Me. The benefits of this practice are too numerous to list. As you grow more and more intimate with Me, I reveal My will to you more directly. When the time is right, I prompt you to ask for healing of some brokenness in you or in another person. The healing may be instantaneous, or it may be a process. That is up to Me. Your part is to trust Me fully and to thank Me for the restoration that has begun.

I rarely heal all the brokenness in a person’s life. Even My servant Paul was told, “My grace is sufficient for you,” when he sought healing for the thorn in his flesh. Nonetheless, much healing is available to those whose lives are intimately interwoven with Mine. Ask, and you will receive.

Ye have not, because ye ask not.
—James 4:2 kjv

To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
—2 Corinthians 12:7–9

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find.”
—Matthew 7:7

My Fav Word in the Bible

School's in session, little peeps are mostly out of our hair, our schedules and routines are firming back up, so sit down BBs, have a big ole cup of coffee (or caffeine substitute, right Jenny?), and let's discuss one of my favorite words in the Bible EVAH!  Wanna guess what it is?  It's "makes".  Yeppers, no typo there.  Makes!  That's it!  Now here's the verse (emphasis mines :)...

The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.  
He MAKES me lie down in green pastures. 
He leads me beside still waters.  
He restores my soul.  He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Psalm 23:1-3

For years after my mom died of cancer, I felt guilty when I rested.  I felt bad for sitting, or napping, or doing anything other than living life to the fullest because she no longer could.  I was afraid I'd get cancer and regret ANY time I just sat.  I was afraid I'd miss something if I wasn't on the go.  I felt like I was wasting my life away if I took a 15 minute nap.  Yes, peeps, I went a little overboard.  Moderation has never been my strength.  Then I re-read this chapter.  I really read it.  I thought about it through the eyes of our great Shepherd.  

He makes.  Not "He lets," or "He tells us to," or "He asks us to."  He MAKES me lie down.  Sunday is hard enough, but taking time on other days is even harder.  The devil's in the details...  I plan a whole day of rest on Sunday and then a bunch of insignificant sillies tempt me into not resting.  I have to beat myself over my BB head and remember that it's the day of rest for a reason.  God commanded us to have a day of rest.  Our bodies...no, our SOULS need it!

I love David's word here!  Obviously since the fall and we all went to work, God has been having to MAKE us rest.  Allow for that BBs.  Let God make you rest.  You know you need it!  I think our little bodies and souls CAN have rest everyday.  Even when struggling and plodding along in this nasty world that is SO not our home, we can have rest... or rather PEACE... every.  single.  day.    

Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.  

Psalm 37:3

Here's the clincher though... we have to trust God, do His good works, dwell with Him in the land of the Living, and sometimes the hardest part.. ENJOY the safety of his loving and safe arms.

Father, MAKE me rest in You.  I want to be still in Your presence so that I can hear Your voice.  I want to be rested so that I can shine Your light.  I want to trust and dwell in You so I can enjoy SAFE pastures and a Holy Kingdom.  Amen