Be Kind Peeps!

So you’ll never believe what I, the brunettish BB, have been dealing with for the past several months… cyber bullying.  A mild version…So mild, in fact, that I’d like to say it’s not bullying at all.  For months now, I’ve had some other women (in a local group that I’m in) posting pictures, comments, and posts in order to stir my BB emotions.  Every time I’d pull up Facebook, it would happen again… another post or comment or picture purposefully trying to stir up the red in my brunette! 

Now, I must interject that I’m not a narcissist, nor am I so self centered that I thought that every post was meant to hurt me; BUT, we’ve all been there.  It’s so easy on social media sites to say something seemingly benign, but purposefully hurtful.  We can mask the comments with “facebook’s not real” and “that was just a general thought that had NOTHING to do with you.”  Isn’t that convenient?  We write anything…FREE SPEECH…under the guise that it’s “not real” and then blame oversensitivity when we hurt someone.  Does anyone else have a problem with this?? I think that’s what bothers me.  I’m embarrassed for saying that it’s bullying.  I mean, I’m nigh on forty years old!  How in the world could I be bullied on the internet, right??

BB’s, let’s get real!  When a female BB’s estrogen is flowing and we are backed in a corner; we are meaner than a rattlesnake chewing bubble gum.  Boy BB’s… you ain’t no better, so don’t walk away too soon.  It’s so easy to pick away at enemies, post by passive aggressive post, to make yourself feel better.  It is way too easy to hide behind the laptop or super duper smart phone and be unkind in this day and age. 

Even if you aren’t all out being a mean girl (or boy), it can be interpreted as if you are.  Now, I have a secret about which I must come clean.  I love Gossip Girl.  There I said it.  I do.  One thing that is really talked about (quite surprisingly) in one of the last seasons is perception.  (Please insert here my sheer embarrassment about the next few sentences and how much I know about this trashy little show).  The original gossip girl prided herself in being truthful.  Now she was still exposing horrible secrets, but they were fact.  Then someone takes over for her and starts posting untrue gossip.  The original GG takes the site back over because of how askewed perception already is when reading anything on a social media site…much less untrue posts. 

Now this is an extreme tv show, but it’s true in our lives today.  One picture, one comment, one post can be perceived as so much more. It is SO easy to take things out of context and jump to conclusions.  Now we do have to remember that sites like Facebook and Twitter are not giving us a clear glimpse of a person’s life, BUT we also have to remember that we have a responsibility to be KIND!  Boasting or taunting or venting is not OK if you are, even slightly in the back of your BB head doing it to be hurtful or because you are jealous, or because you’ve been hurt. 

It can be even more benign.  Single woman posts a comment on a married man’s picture.  They are church friends…the woman, the man, the man’s wife.  No biggie right?  What does the wife think when single girl posts that the guy looks “amazing” in his new profile picture?  What if the couple were already having problems?  Now one argument is that the girl would have no idea, so no responsibility right?  I say wrong.  We don’t ever want to be a stumbling block.  We have to think before we post.  Are we on a path that might hurt… even innocently?  Are we posting that picture because it was a great day and that’s it?  Or are we bragging about the event, the people with whom we were with, etc.?

You KNOW that Satan just LOVES social media.  Not only can it stir up all kinds of mischief through messaging and what people perceive from posts, but also the time it takes away from the One with whom we should be conversing.  I am…write this second…committing to thinking about others when posting on Facebook and Twitter.  Am I being kind?  Am I posting with even the SLIGHTEST motive other than being kind?  And most importantly, am I spending more time on posting or reading posts than I am in the Word of God?  I saw this post the other day and its author gave me permission to share.  I’ve never met her, but she may be our new BBF.

Facebook post by Cheri Brorson

I'm a christian.
I mean, I love Jesus. I try to follow His commands.

I'm conservative.

I own a .40 and will use it.

I believe the bible...
all of it...
even the maps.

I like to cook and bake and to take pictures of it...
and I am not above a selfie.

I love the ocean.
and summer.
and salty air.
and jimmy buffett.

I run.
and walk.
and try to be better.

I've been fat...
and I've been thinner than I am now...

I'm snarky...
and sarcastic...
and have used my words
for good
and
bad.

I've been divorced
and disappointed...
and felt like a failure.

I've made birthdays a national holiday...or tried.

I've been that woman...in Target...leaning in and whispering ... just.you.wait.till.we.get.home....
and the mom that is daily amazed by these kids that call her mom ...

I've fallen and failed and entertained thoughts
most unbecoming....

I've spoken too soon...
said too much...
pushed boundaries. ...

I am the model of a perfect mess...

but yall, really, Facebook has made it ok to be unkind...
even if I disagree with you...about....everything... there is still
still
STILL
the ability to be kind.

BB’s help me in this.  I’ve been hurt.  I’m not embarrassed to admit it anymore.  I don’t want to retaliate; I want to be a better person in all this.  I didn’t write this to even speak to those women.  They aren’t my Facebook friends and will probably never see this blog.  I want to be kind and that dang sneaky snake tempter wants me to be mean. WE are the start of this.  Imagine what our teens are going through??  WE are the ones that can teach our children to communicate when they have issues instead of hurting each other in a passive aggressive social media post.  Share this blog and show that you are committing to being kind with me.  Commit to spending 5 minutes to every one minute on Facebook.  Call me out if I fail!  Pretty sure we could rock the BB world if we got behind the wheel of this sinking ship!!!

Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.

Col 3:12-14 ESV

 

XOXO,
Anna