The Joy Of The Shepherds

At 3 a.m. on Christmas morning, while all other peeps where nestled peacefully in their beds, I was in the horse pastures wading around in mud juggling horses. I was mad and resentful and just wanted to go "night, night."

I was also a little nervous... not of being alone in the dark (that part was quite peaceful)... I was was scared of the unknown. The unknown event that lurks around every corner when you are caring for and managing animals during the nasty rain. 

I've witnessed a horse harmlessly roll to itch his back and 45 minutes later have to be put down because he twisted his intestine while rolling. 

I've found my daughter's pony too weak to stand in the quiet hours of the morning. 

I've had to lure my blind horse to safer ground when she became disoriented in the pasture. 

I've walked in to feed to find my childhood horse shivering in shock when a tumor became too much for her body to bear. 

Terrifying moments and emergencies fill my mind. In the quiet of the Christmas morning, all I could think about was the "what ifs." What might lurk around the corner to harm this peaceful and holy day.  

As I looked up at the heavens and saw the bright stars, I prayed desperately for God to protect these unpredictable creatures and spare me, if even for a day, the sick sinking feeling in my stomach of finding one of them in danger. 

I began to give them hay and slowly walk them to their paddocks. In the dark it took a lot of talking and comforting for the easily startled beasts to trust the path I chose for them. In the darkness of the morning, my horses went from startled and nervous, to calm and content. 

My nerves settled and I became overjoyed by the calmness that was all around. The crunching of hay and gentle snorts where a joyous sound... the sound of safety, security and quiet that could only be appreciated because I had experienced overwhelming fear of the unknown. 

Then suddenly at 3 a.m. on Christmas morning, while all other peeps where nestled peacefully in their beds, I was in the pastures.  I was no longer mad and resentful. I was no longer nervous. I was no longer scared of the unknown. I was consumed by peace and joy and excitement because it was Christmas morning. YAY for CHRISTMAS!!!

In that moment, I realized why God chose the lowly shepherds to be the first to witness His arrival to Earth. Those humble shepherds felt the sickening fear when the Angels appeared. This unexpected event that could scare, kill, or maim their precious sheep. 

Luke describes them as "terrified." Terrified is a fo sho helpless way to feel when you are caring for animals. The angel of the Lord said, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people." (Luke 2:9-10). 

Those shepherds fully appreciated this great joy because they had experienced the fear. They understood the peace because they had endured the fatigue. They had been treated by society as inferior, ignoble, and subordinate. God put them in a place of favor, honor, and dignity. 

They were honored as the first to see Christ the King lying in the manger. They experienced being inferior, so they truly appreciated being favored. They had experienced fear, so they welcomed and embraced joy. 

At 4 a.m. on Christmas morning, I climbed into my bed and snuggled under my covers knowing that it's okay to be fearful, and tired, and stressed, and even terrified because it's those experiences that have allowed me to truly know the Joy and Peace of Christ's birth.  

Peeps, it's difficult being a Princess of the Kingdom when you feel like a lowly Shepherdess.  Just trying to keep all our sheep in a row can be completely overwhelming.  It often leaves us broken down, broken hearted, and down right hopeless.  But our sweet Savior invited the lowest and most exhausted and broken to meet Him first!!

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

Matthew 11:28 

Stop and follow the star.  If you haven't already, take time to do it now.   Just think how beautiful that peace and joy will feel as it seeps into your heart and renews your soul.  Just like the shepherds, take your tired self to the manger and just sit awhile.  And make room for the King.  By golly, the sheep can wait.

.

Tis The Season

So, it's Christmas Eve and for the past few weeks, I've been diving into some super amazing scripture about prophecy and real life grace.  It's always a bit overwhelming, but I have so been trying to soak in the Christmas story.  Tis the season, right BBs?

I completely long to not miss this important day!!  And then it hit me like a big ole ton of bricks.  I began to really see the story of grace that is laid before us with the birth of Christ.

BBs, Can I just want to talk just one hot minute about the five women in Jesus's lineage? Sometimes they are lost amongst the sheep and the angels singing and whatnot.  Open your Bible up to Matthew 1 and try not to be bored senseless through the endless naming of all these peeps.  But, please don't miss these five women.

Now I'm guessing you are in one of two camps.  Camp one is all like, "Look, little BBs, we totes know all about these women and why they are listed and all the whatnots."  And camp two is more like, "You lost me at Matthew 1:2."

Whichever camp you are in, bear with me just for a few hundred shakes of a lamb's tail.  Not too long ago at Easter, I wrote about wanting to be a "Mary."  Here's the deal.  

Some days I'm all like Mary Magdalene throwing my crayola demons aside to follow my Savior.  Sometimes I'm like the Mary that poured sweet perfume on Jesus's feet.  And even sometimes I'm like His momma, Mary, that quietly supported her son and savior to the death.

Reality hits, however, each Christmas.  And I realize that I'm less like a Mary and more like these fools listed in Matthew. I read these names in this long line of decedents of our Immanuel.  

First up... Tamar.  I read of her vial deceit... pretending to be a prostitute and sleeping with her FIL just to gain an inheritance.  Goodness, I'd never be like her!

I move on to Rahab.  Well, more prostitution going around.  More difficult convos with the kiddos about this woman as we read through the women listed in Jesus's genealogy.  She is all about selling things she just need not sell to make this whole story PG.

Then there's Bathsheba.  She makes me super mad.  Mostly because of David.  I mean, come on, dude, get your crapola together.  You're stinking awesome and then you have to go and pull this R rated nonsense with this hot chick flaunting around in a bathtub.

Now Ruth, I adore.  She is more like it, right?  But in reality, she is somewhat foolish with her loyalty and fervor.  She is super duper determined and sometimes even brazen for a non-important widower with no real rights.  I'm guessing she shook up the town square with her determination.

And finally, we have Mary.  She is a quiet one, isn't she?  I mean, sheesh.  She gives birth to a king and has to manage a family with this little precious Savior running around.  She is to be adored, right?  

And I look at these women and I realize that it's not about some grading scale of how good they are.  It's not about all the "wrongs" lining up with all of the "rights."  These women are a big ole hot mess that have been deep fried in coo coo for cocoa puffs.  They are broken... just like ME!  So what's it all about?

It's about grace.

This season, we bow on our scarred up and unworthy knees at the foot of an infant Savior. 

We are given a King... an eternal King that humbles himself by entering this undeserving world as a tiny baby in a nasty ole stable.

We are Tamar, Rahab, and Bathsheba and it doesn't even matter.  Not only did he come here for us, he listed us quite proudly in his lineage. 

You see, he takes our broken mess and makes it beautiful.  He has since the world began, and He still is today. It's not that He doesn't care that we are a bunch fo mess ups.  Goodness knows we break his heart daily... perhaps hourly or more.  But He loves us THAT much.  

He loves us enough to make our broken mess beautiful.  And He loves us enough to dwell among us.  

Let this Christmas be a reminder that the Immanuel is here.  

Immanuel.  God with us.

Plain and simple.  

Not "God with us" if we do these great things.

Not "God with us" if we don't screw up.

Not "God with us" if we are good enough.

Us.  The prostitute and the priest.  The housewife and the day laborer.  The American and the Arab.  The broken and the beautiful. 

God with us.

Immanuel.

So beautifully and simply.  God with us.  

“The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel” (which means “God with us”).”

Matthew 1:23 NIV

   

I'm "THAT" Mom

Dear 7:30 a.m. School Moms In Perfectly Matching Outfits Sipping On Your Second Cup Of Coffee,

Today, as I pulled up in car line at school and looked at all of the matching school t-shirts, my heart sank.  I had forgotten today was the field trip, and my little girl needed her school t-shirt.  Oh yes, she will be boldly rocking turquoise amongst the sea of yellow shirts.  (At least I'll be able to find her in the pictures as I face palm).

Driving home, I realized something...

I am that mom.

I'm the mom that forgets about field trips.

I'm the mom that frightens Kindergarten moms with my F350 in car line.

I'm the mom that doesn't care if my child is dressed to perfection, unless it's an important event. And I always let her do her own hair.

I'm the mom that doesn't care if my child sings in the school performance if she doesn't really want to.

I'm the mom that helps with projects, but doesn't do them for my kiddo... so they occasionally look like a serial killer cut and pasted a message together.

I'm the mom that doesn't spend much on gifts and they will look like a trained ape wrapped them.

I'm the mom that doesn't provide costumes with elaborate design and detail.  Our cat costume may not even have a tail and I'm okay with that.

I'm the mom that lets my child sew and create and then lets her actually appear in public with hand appliquéd "monograms" that look like chicken scratch.  

I'm the mom that keeps a calendar in September and then loses it by October.

My house isn't clean.

My clothes sometimes don't even match...but at least I put them on.

And I might sit on my off day and drink a mimosa slap in the middle of the day, because...

I'm just THAT mom.  

But one thing I realized today, is that being that mom only helps you out!  

First of all, you always have me to refer to when you need to remember that you are a "got it all together" kinda mom.  I envy your ways, but I doubt that I'll be changing anytime soon.  I like my imperfect attempts at parenting.  And most days, I enjoy running around a hot mess in green chucks. 

It's real life.  And I promise you that I'll never be afraid to show my child and yours that I'm just not perfect.  And in the long run, I think that's important to both of us.  It gives our kiddos a safe place to fall. 

Second, you can be assured that I'm not that mom because I'm lazy.  I just have a different agenda.  You don't have to be frightened by my haphazard non-PTO volunteering ways or my dirty cowboy boots or my rock star husband.  

I sincerely look at the bigger picture and want our kiddos to be, well... kiddos.  Not that you don't... I just have different gifts and talents.  My hot mess skills just seem to outway my organizational skills.  

And today I'm embracing those talents and no longer hiding behind the exhaust of my big truck or the guise of cute shoes.  I'm coming out of the closet... well, so to speak.

I am proclaiming to you that I am officially that mom...

I am the mom that will let your kids run through my house with muddy shoes.

I am the mom that will toss our kids outside and push them to go on a ghost hunt through the woods or make forts or whatevs.

I am the mom that will let the kids make s'mores in the living room.

I am the mom that will unplug the internet, when the outside world gets too overwhelming.

I am the mom that will volunteer and love your child during every single children's church event when you're exhausted from serving at school.

I am the mom that will laugh at all the borderline inappropriate things your kid laughs at, but also draw the line when needed.

I am the mom that will watch our kiddos like a hawk, and step in if hormones or the world or anything unJesus-like starts creeping in.  

I will not be afraid to discipline with love and I will be loyal to you to a fault.

I am THAT mom.

And I'm ready to embrace all of our roles, because let's face it... I need you, as much as you need me.  You need me to be that as much as I need your holiday cookies and your matching clothes and your dedication to making copies in the school office and your chaperoning skills and your warm body at the events that I just can't attend. 

It takes a big tribe to raise these kids.  And sometimes our imperfections are exactly what they need to feel a big ole dose of grace and love.  So today I make a promise to you that I am and will continue to do my best at being that mom.

Sincerely,

Mom Of The Kid That Will Be Standing Out Like A Sore Thumb In Your Field Trip Pictures

Releasing the Cray

Today I rode. #ride31days

I was so tired.  Exhausted really...  

I needed a break. 

I needed some quiet... some joy. 

And my horse was high as a kite flying on crack cocaine. 

And I wasn't strong enough for the cray. 

So I rode...

And I circled. 

Somewhat begrudgingly. 

And somewhat apprehensive and fearful that my horse would rear it's cray cray head. 

And through the circles, the crazy simmered. 

As we circled, she calmed. 

And then we stopped... and my sweet horse fell asleep in the sunshine. 

From crazy to peaceful. 

And I realized that so much is missed because we forgot the simple things. 

We forget the circles. 

We forget that by circling we can find our strength...

We can find our peace...

Because our joy comes from above...

And our rest comes through the little things. 

Simplicity. 

Circles. 

Head Lice, Dog Poo, & Weird Puppets

So can we just talk about my day yesterday?

I woke up to a screaming cat and my coffee maker that wasn't pre-set.  Whatevs, I'll be fine.

I haven't slept.  One rottenweiler barked ALL NIGHT.  And the other couldn't hold his... well poo.  Lawsy all the poo.  But he is old.  I'll still love him, right?

I went to leave and as my sweet little angel girl and I were praying for our day and our friends and family, here comes the sheriff.  I was mortified.  I am the next of kin to so many.  

"What had happened," I thought!

I took an extremely irritated sigh of relief as I received a subpoena for information... that doesn't exist... for a simple court case... that was over weeks ago.  And I tried to regroup.  But I just couldn't.  My irritation level was about an 11.  Exactly.  One.  Higher.  Than normal.  

As I went about my day, it was one thing after another.  

Little things that kept stacking up.  

And then the call... My little girl has head lice.  I leave to pick her up and suddenly we are now battling fever AND head lice.  

Y'all.  The bugs.  All things washed and sprayed and I gave my child a flea bath.

And then the icing on the cake...  I, too, have head lice.  Let the head scratching begin.  

My hair is two feet long and fine and breakable.  Using the dang tiny flea comb was like entering the seventh realm of hell.  

I just couldn't take it all.  

All the little things.  And I'll be honest.  I wasn't feeling very full of Jesus.  

But I must write.  It's #write31days.  And it's raw.  And here I am.  

And I do love Jesus.  I just don't want to read about him.  Or pray.  

So I try to just cry a little.  And let the Holy Spirit take over.  

And keep it simple.  

I circle around my sweet Jesus.  

Jesus loves me this I know,

For the Bible tells me so.

Little ones to Him belong,

They are week and He is strong.

Nothing happened with weird puppets, but it sounded good at the time.  What's up with them????  Where does one go to take a weird picture of puppets!  Creepy.  I guess it could be worse than head lice.  I could be surrounded by weird puppets.  

A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words?

If a picture is worth a thousand words, then what do your pictures say about you? 

Y'all, one thousand words is a good bit.  I'm long winded, and I've never posted more than about 800 words in a blog!!   This statement is oh so true!  How much we see and feel and think from a mere picture.  

Remember my vanity meter yesterday?  Were you brave enough to look through your photos and rate a few?  How'd they stack up?

This vanity thing goes way past pictures.  Yesterday we talked about coming before your king unedited.  I dare you to take it further... go before your family, and friends, and co-workers, and complete strangers... UNEDITED.  

THIS is the true way to lay yourself in front of the world as a beautifully broken soul.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.  Psalm 139:14

BBs, you can crop and edit all you want, but that doesn't change who you are.  That doesn't change the fact that Christ died FOR YOU even though he knows who you are.  He died for you wrinkles and flaws and bad hair and bad attitude and selfishness.  

And I bet if we all went on a mission to post real selfies.  REAL ones.  Like hair is a mess and clothes don't match kinda selfies that peeps would love us just the same.  

I bet if we took pictures of our kids throwing tantrums and what dinner REALLY looked like, peeps would love us just the same.

If we took pictures of our messed up life and broken daily mess and spilt coffee and burnt bisquits and unorganized house that peeps would love us just the same.

Maybe even more...

Because that love would be unedited.  

Unfiltered.  

Just like Christ's.

Be realz, BBs!

Spiritual Selfie

So this week, I'm circling around vanity.  It seems like such a harsh word... VANITY.  We think, "no, that's not me."  But peeps, we live in an insanely "me" focused world.  I'm gonna start off with the ole selfie...

Y'all, I have to confess.  I have a love/hate relationship with selfies.  

On one hand, they are fun.  It's fun to see a friend and be able to take a picture with them.  Remember the days of turning the camera around and hoping that the selfie picture would come out?  And you would't know for days.  Unless it was a Polaroid.  Then you'd have to shake, shake, shake until the picture was clear.  

On the other hand, they can get a little bit too much.  I think about this when I take one.  It takes a ton of pictures and perfect angles to make a good one.  And then the editing.  I end up wondering WHY I even attempted it in the first place.  Usually it's just to show my husband my new bangs and it ends up a disaster.  

Then I have peeps that make gorgeous ones and I love them.  And I never even think, "Wow, she just took a picture of herself."  (Like I do about some peeps).  

Then there are peeps that post them constantly.  And I wonder about the selfie addicted peeps.  How much time to they take doing this?  And I wonder what's on their camera roll...

So what is on your camera roll?

I stopped and took a second to check on my photo vanity.  I'm going back to the last ten, and laying it out there for you guys!  Here's to honesty!!  Here we go...

Number 10... I picture of me one my horse.  Vanity level... 7

Number 9... Cat drinking champagne.  Vanity level... 2

Number 8...Horse's leg (I had to send it to the vet).  Vanity level... 1

Number 7... Jerome and I at our wedding.  Vanity level... 4ish  (It's a cute picture and I just wanted to look at it.  

Number 6... Cat in a mailbox.  Vanity level... 2

Number 5... All my "gig" purses.  It was so ungig-like.  And I just took the pic for me.  Sooooo vanity level... 3

Number 4...Jerome and me playing a show in Nashville.  Vanity level... 5

Number 3... Clouds as we came into Birmingham.  Vanity level... 6ish (I knew it would get retweeted, so there's that)

Number 2... A Johnny Cash quote.  Vanity level... 2

Number 1... One of my kiddos getting a horse.  Vanity level... 2

Ok, so not that bad.  But that's just a few days of pics.  There ain't no telling how vain I'd be if I looked through the whole camera roll.  Eeeeek.  Not sure I wanna go there...

What about you?  What do your last ten pictures say about you?

The problem with these edited and cropped pictures with an over produced focal point, is that it has led us down a path of seeing the world in tunnel vision.  We see a person's apprearance from a selfie.  We see a persons life from social media.  We see our child's life or our meal through a 5" phone screen.  We can now clean up our memories with a push of a button.  

But what if we could turn that screen shot around and take a spiritual selfie?  

No filter.

No cropping.

No enhancement.  

Peeps, God does not edit and crop and touch up and filter our heart when we are standing in front of Him.  We can hope for that as we walk around our world with blinders on, but it's just not true.  

In 1 Samuel, the Lord tells Samuel (when looking for David... the next king), "The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."  (From 1 Samuel 16:7)

Y'all, even thousands of years ago, peeps were judging by appearance.  Now right here in 2015, we have raised a generation that judges.  We see someone's life on social media and say/think it's fake or wish it was ours.  Or we see their life on social media and think they are vain.  It really can end up a teeny tiny (or SUPER big) vanity contest.  

When it comes down to it, we live in a vain society.  We spend about 8 MILLION on cosmetics a year in the U.S.  I'm not saying don't get your hair done and trash the mascara.  I'm saying stop and think before you do anything.  

Take a spiritual selfie...

Why are you taking that picture?  Really?  Why?  

Why are you saying what you're saying?  Really?  Does it need to be said...Why?

Why are wearing what you are wearing?  Really?  Deep down... Why?

Quit cropping and editing, because what really matters is your sweet Father.  And He ain't got no time for all that.  

Photo Bomb

So this week, BBs, I'm tackling our vanity.  Now please understand that I may say things this week that you don't wanna hear.  And I don't want to face it either, but we are SO susceptible to vanity!  Jenny and I even wrote about it in one of our first blogs!  In the blogs, Picture Perfect and Picture Pefekt, we talked about being an original masterpiece of God.  But BBs, this can SO circle down the wrong path if we don't think before we act.

This is just another topic that I've been circling around this month, and this is going to be this week's BB journey!

Why do you dress up on Sunday or even on a random Tuesday?

Why do you put on make up?

Why do you dye your hair?

Why do you take selfies or any picture?

Why do you do any thing that you do?

Why do you say anything that you say?

So often we think we are doing such good in the world.  We think our actions are so harmless.  When we step a couple of sashays back, we don't quite have the right intentions.  Our focus on impressing others with our looks or words or confidence or humor.

Are we pleasing God with our actions?  Or ourselves?  

Are we taking time to take capture those thoughts and hash out with God all of the WHY's and motives behind things we do?

It can be as simple as...

Taking a picture.

A prayer.

An outfit.

A seemingly meaningful gesture.

It can be so little, but when they start adding up with not-so-pure intentions, it leads to a circle of vanity.  We are, in fact, living in a more material world.  Madonna was right!  HA!

Now there's nothing wrong with being confident in Christ... or being bold... or being beautiful, but are we stopping to take an inventory?  Are we taking accountability?  Or are we just a walking photo bomb.

"Christians, no less than others, are conditioned and shaped by the culture of which they are apart."

-J. I. Packer, Rediscovering Holiness

“Whatever their bodies do affects their souls. It is funny how mortals always picture us as putting things into their minds: in reality our best work is done by keeping things out...”  

-C. S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters  (conversation between two demons)

Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.  Colossians 3:2

The sneaky snake would like nothing more than to take these little daily gestures and twist and build them up around you until you are in a circle of vanity. 

So get ready!  This week, it's time for a spiritual selfie!!  

Until tomorrow!

XOXO,

Anna

Don't Be A Bunny... Cause Snakes Can't Wear Shoes

I spend my days working hard.  I take care of my kiddos and I run through life with my hair blowing in the wind.  I feel like most of my time is running from here and there as fast as my feet can hop.  And grocery shopping.  Why does it seem I can never get enough groceries to feed the fam??  I even have a garden of my very own that is filled to the brim with big, gorgeous veges and it just does NOT seem to be enough to go around.  

Work and play and caring for my family is always on the agenda... but there's also something else.  Something greater.  I am just always waiting to have to run.  I'm always listening for that someone chasing me in the woods when I'm running or that thing that will startle me that will leap out of the bushes.  I'm always waiting and anticipating.  I can almost feel the hair bristle on the back of my neck because things have just been too quiet and too easy.  I gotta be ready to run...

So BBs, do you ever sit around and wait for the other shoe to drop?  It's yet another negative circular pattern that is SO hard to capture and give to God.  The struggle is real peeps!

Here are just a few of the ways that I prevent the ripple effect of nerves that run through my body and stop the crazy from surfacing when I feel like that shoe is going to hit the flo like a platform stiletto on hardwood. (Now mind you, I'm not telling you to do these things... this is my circus and my monkeys).

I change ring tones and text tones constantly.  The quieter the better.  Once upon a time every phone call and text was the possibility of a shoe dropping.

I watch for behavioral patterns in people around me.  I have quite the accurate cray barometer.

I plan.  I have a plan A, a plan B, and a plan C.  I also have a plan A, B, and C for each of those plans in case they don't go as planned.  #truestory

I can hear conversations a mile away.  Now this girl can't hear my bass playing out of a speaker two feet away, but I can tell you what people 50 feet away are saying. 

I'm always one step ahead.

"Things are going too well..."

"What if..."

"I'd try something new, but..."

"They are about to unleash the monkeys, I have to prepare..."

Sound familiar?  And we circle right on back to those little demony minions that belong to the ole no leg dumb dumb.   And do you know what those little demons want me to believe?  That I need to run.  I need to be afraid if things are going ok.  I need to be ready... be on guard... put up my defenses.  But do you know what that does NOT do for us?  Leave room for peace.

Here's what we have to understand...

First, go back and read those two paragraphs.  It's about a bunny, y'all!  NOT a person.  Repeat after me... "I... AM... NOT... A... BUNNY."

For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline. 2 Timothy 1:7 

Now read it like this:  For the Spirit God gave ME does not make ME timid, but gives power, love and self-discipline.  

Okay, now on to my second point...  Let's be logical.  Snakes have no legs.  So quit allowing snakey creatures to drop shoes.  Now repeat after me... "SNAKES...AIN'T...GOT...NO...LEGS...SO THEY CAN'T DROP SHOES!!"

Again... For the Spirit God gave ME does not make ME timid, but gives power, love and self-discipline.  

Here's the thing, BBs.  We live in a yuckers world, so we are going to be faced with obstacles and shoes dropping and fear and temptation.  BUT our God has already overcome the world, so we can live boldly and without fear.  

I know that I sho don't want to trust the temptations of a sneaky snake that can't even appreciate a good pair of Ferragamos.  So circle in the truth of confidence when it's raining shoes.  And then pick them up, put them on, and sashay like a supermodel... all while laughing at the attempts of the ole no leg fool that tried to throw them, because you were made to be bold.  

For the spirit God gave YOU does not make you timid, but gives YOU power and love and self-discipline.  

So the moral of the story is... don't be a bunny, 'cause snakes can't wear shoes.  

Until tomorrow, BBs!

XOXO!

Are you spreading stinky stanky... or honey?

Yesterday, I talked about how the sneaky snake, satan, was trying to trip me up.  Old no legs had a lot of cute attempts up his sleeves, but they failed... a few tears later of course.  

Well it got me to thinkin' about spiritual warfare.  Now growing up, I had a unique Baptist household that we actually talked about this kinda stuff.  Not blatantly, but i did grow up at least having an understanding of the battles unseen, and a huge appreciation for the power of prayer.  Now I'm Bapticostal, so I'm all up in that spiritual train wreck.

The thing is... my mind was always blown by it all, so I focused more on the spiritual warfare around me and the peeps close to me and within my church... but that's where it stopped.  My pea brain couldn't wrap my head around much more than that.  

Something clicked yesterday; however, when I wrote out God's soothing words to me.  

Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. Proverbs 16:24

His words healed my heart with goodness and sweetness and gentleness, that human words couldn't have expressed...

Or could they have??

“But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of him everywhere. For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing, to one a fragrance from death to death, to the other a fragrance from life to life. Who is sufficient for these things?”

2 Corinthians 2:14-16 ESV

This verse makes me think of Mary spilling the oil on Jesus's feet.  Can you imagine the aroma that filled that room?  Think of a smell that you love... the smell of freshly baked bread, the smell of rain, the smell of jasmine, or if you are at our house... the smell of the barn.  Imagine the warmth you feel when that smell surrounds you.

This is what we are to be BBs to others... sweet to their souls and healing to their bones!

BBs, we have the Holy Spirit IN us.  

We have the power of God IN us.

SOOOOO... we have these sweet, sweet words in our heart for others. We need to be aware of the battles around us and when we see one forming, we must be willing to cover our sisters and brothers in Christ AND those perishing with gracious words like a honeycomb! 

In my case yesterday, I couldn't have given any sweet words to the person that lashed out at us, BUT I can give those sweet words right up on up to my Jesus... through prayer and petition.  And slayed that snake from afar.

BBs, we are called to be a sweet fragrance.  We are supposed to be the sweet aroma of Christ throughout our BB worlds.  Nobody wants a stinky stank BB lingering around, so look out for the spiritual warfare around you and shower that hot mess, that satan tries to stir up, with honey! 

Will The Circle Be Unbroken?

Y'all, I knew that when I decided to write and ride for 31 days that the ole sneaky snake would try to stumble me up.  I knew this.  And yet that dang spineless dumb dumb tried to steal away my focus today.  

It has been a truly beautiful walk with God the past few weeks.  I have been digging in the Word of God.  And not even to a point where I can day, "I've never dug deeper."  I have, but I've never dug this deep when I didn't have to.   

It has truly been circles... repetition that is leading me to the King.  It is making me aware of the Father that is helping me as I screw up... even when it's teeny.  It is opening my eyes to the Kingdom around me.  It is placing blessings at my feet...like where I REALLY see them.  Y'all, I feel the love.  

Sure, I have always had faith... blind faith, but I was never ok with just being "me" in front of my Father.  Isn't that sillies!?!?  He sees me.  He knows me.  And He brutally allowed His Son to be killed FOR me.  And I'm just circling away.  

But I'm circling in a great way... in a way that is allowing God to show me His mysteries like never before...  And see change in the peeps around me too.  They want to dig deeper.    

And It's the little things...  And I pray for each of you, BBs, to find a way to make this kind of connection.  It may not be 31 days of writing, but maybe 31 days of reading Psalm, or 31 days of the Gospels, or 31 days of a Bible study.  

But when your heart is determined to do good and faithful BB work, you are going to be tempted.  And it's, yet again, the little things that bring you down.  Satan knows this.  Our household is a strong and mighty power right now, but it's also a fortress very much under attack.

Today, someone said something ugly about my husband.  And a few days ago about me.  It's not the first time, but it hurt a lot today.  And I truly cried.  "She has won," I thought and cried out.  "I'm tired and done with the drama. God, how can someone that has never met me continue to say truly ugly things about me?  How can someone who doesn't know my husband anymore feel this way?  Why won't she put the yuckers aside and just get to know US?"

And it took my happy away at that moment.  And when it crept in and tried to steal my joy, something had to give.  

As I lowered my head and prayed that the tears would go away, so that I could get on with my very long day, God's sweet voice spoke to me.  In a blunt, but kind, language that was so very clear.

"You and you husband have chosen to live in a small house with your family because you do not believe in excess.  

You wear hand-me-downs and cut your own hair, so that you can provide for your children first. 

You love your husband and truly allow your fiery spirit to step back and let him lead your household. 

Your husband loves you and his whole family with a love like mine!!!!

You give of your time to my church and my children when you are tired and weary.  

You have chosen to dedicate this month to me... and the animals that you love and that I love and that I have given to you.  You are my shepherdess.

You've made hard decisions and bad decisions and great ones, and I'm still walking with you.  I have never forsaken you.

Count your blessings, and listen to me.  I AM the God who sees."

Y'all, He never gives me that much of a pep talk.  This circling thing evidently opened my ears too.  and I needed it!  And I praise Him for it!!  His words are so sweet and made that little nasty comment shrivel up like a dead flower.  So I stopped and truly counted my blessings, and Satan and his sneaky snake, spineless minions began to step down.  

You see, even when the enemy is at work, he still knows that one day EVERY knee will bow and EVERY tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord and Savior.  

And it was all clear... as I counted my blessings...  

Satan wants to destroy my circle of joy and peace.  

And yours too!!  

BBs, stand firm today and realize that the enemy is at work around you.  And start believing that you have the power of God in you!!  As I've said before... the same power that made blind men see and rose Jesus from the dead is LIVING in you!!!!!  

So that at the name of Jesus, every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.  Philippians 2:9-11

Be a part of the RIGHT kinda circle and not the circle that the tempter weaves. 

Will the circle be unbroken, 

By and by, Lord, by and by.

There's a better home a-waiting,

In the sky Lord, in the sky.

-A.P. Carter

HOLLA-lujah, BBs!!!!  There's a better home awaiting.  

What Do You Do When You Feel Like You've Hit Rock Bottom?

I sat talking with her about life.  She was antsy and distracted and weepy... all at the same time.  The little things of life seemed to be building up around her.  Some of it was just life happening.  Some was due to some bad decisions with money and relationships.  It was just a big ole pile of stuff.  

It was easy to be empathetic for her.  We've all made bad choices.  I've had my fair share... that's fo sho!  

It was equally as easy to say, "Come on girl, you have got to get your life together... you have a child to think about!"  

But she had hit rock bottom and was not ready to take the next step.  How do you find hope in a negative circular pattern?  

I've noticed with animals that some have a will to survive and some just don't.  It's the craziest thing.  But what happens when you are BB with very little desire to press forward and not just survive... but THRIVE?  You miss out on the Kingdom.  

God desires for you to have a life in His eternal Kingdom, but here's the deal.  It's easy to just waste away when you've hit rock bottom, and say, "Well who cares.  I wasn't made for this world anyway.  I'll just sit here and do nothing... or minimally survive until then."  But that's not what we are supposed to do.  

God is very clear that we are going to go through trials and temptations and struggles.  We live in a broken world, so it's inevitable, but we are called for MORE!  And I speak this from a place of constant exhaustion... while dealing with the circular pattern of horse poo that this world creates around me on a daily basis. 

The Kingdom of God is right here on earth.  Plain and simple.  But BBs, we will never experience it while hiding or running from our problems... or even pretending that they do not exist.  We have to put on our big girl panties and put on those boots that were made for walking and carry on, sweet friends.  

As hard as it is.  

As much as you think you're God has forsaken you.  

You have to chose to keep on going.  

When you are sitting there hopeless... invite God to hang out with you.  He will!!  He will meet you in that valley and on that mountain top and even at the bottom of the rocks.  Choose to start building a new foundation from those rocks.  One at a time.  And take time to look up, because do you know what?  You have the best view of the Father and His Kingdom from down there!

If you feel as if you have hit rock bottom, would you message us on FB or Twitter and let us know how we can pray for you?  You are loved by a sweet and mighty King!

And if you are struggling with a friend that has hit rock bottom, PRAY!  And get your friends to pray.  NOTHING is impossible for our powerful Creator!

 

Circles Towards Eternity

So, as I explained Thursday, I'm halfway determined to do this thirty days or riding... well, writing thing.  It's amazing when you commit to something so simple, how truths start flooding around you.  The first day, I started with my big, sweet, cray cray mare and we did circles.  Big ole boring 20 meter circles.  

When I was a young rider in training, we did TONS of circles.  I learned so much about the horse and how she moves underneath me from these circles, so I went back to my roots.  It was fun and my horse loved this little change in training.  And I remembered that lovely feeling of truly feeling the horse underneath me.  

Now yesterday was a little different.  I so wanted to stray from the circles and turns and do something different.  But I didn't... I kept at it.  And it was ok.  My horse was amazing, and I was so tempted to just stop or work on other things or do something harder.  

About that time, when I told myself for the 10th time to just stick with it, I looked up.  Oh BBs, it was beautiful!  As my eyes raise and my thoughts went from "I don't wanna" to "I'm going to keep it up," do you know I saw?

I saw a beautiful horse underneath me.  A huge and strong living creature that was LETTING me control her.  A horse God put in my care for a reason.  

And then I saw my husband.  My sweet husband on his gigantic sweet horse.  They were working hard at walking around the arena.  I saw a man that loves me and loves my passion... not out of a "have to" attitude, but out of an attitude of appreciation for his wife and her interests.

And my little girl ran down the hall.  Instead of watching television or playing video games, she was choosing to spend her afternoon skipping down a barn aisle and petting ponies and playing with kittens.  Who wouldn't, right?

And I saw horses and riders and people that are kind and loving and hardworking.  Something I don't always see as I am going through my day.  

And I saw a farm with a different philosophy.  And it was lovely!  It thrilled my heart.  

Even though sometimes I feel like I lose my passion for these animals, it's always still there.  Through those dang boring circles, I found my passion again.  

It was the repetition that allowed me to understand more fully the simple things that are staring me in the face.  And that's the thing to take away here...

We can take repetition and use it to actually dull out the boring and make things more beautiful.  We CAN circle towards eternity.

That's the beauty of making circles in God's word.  When we feel lost or disconnected, we can read a verse.  Over and over.  And because God's word is living in active, it molds and changes and grows in our hearts.

Now don't hear me wrong... the meaning doesn't change.  We can't change God's word to suit our purpose.  That's a no no, BBs, but it is living and active.  It does grow and change and the mystery of it all diminishes as we grow in wisdom.  

And sometimes wisdom comes in just a simple repeat of the obvious and simple.  

It's about repeating the little things... over and over until we can look up and appreciate the beauty that surrounds us.  

I challenge you today, BBs, find somewhere to circle today and see what beauty unfolds!

Thirty Days of Riding... Ummm... Writing

So evidently, October seems to be a challenge for bloggers. Write for 31 days. I'm not gonna lie, I totes heard this as RIDE for 31 days. So I decided to do BOTH!  We shall see how this goes. I'm known for not caring much about challenges and goals like this one. 

Tomorrow, I have a blog post on prayer. Y'all, I was pushed to pray for someone this week that I just don't like. She is not a BB, but she needs so much love. And I'm not sure I have enough Jesus to love and pray for her... Even though I do want her to be a BB one day. 

But I found a beautiful side of the Holy Spirit during this battle. And that's what happens. We go round and round with ourselves and God. 

Often times, the repitition allows for us to feel and appreciate the little things we often overlook. 

And then I rode... My sweet horse that is a big ole hot mess of attitude. I rode twenty meter circles... Round and round. And I learned something about human nature. Round and round and round we go... It's through repetition that humans learn and can branch out in to the "infinity" world in which our God operates. 

But we humans are dumb dumbs. One distraction and we miss out on the beauty of a Kingdom of eternity that is available RIGHT NOW. 

We become caught up in circles.

Habits. 

Patterns. 

This is what I'll be writing about. 

Circles...

That lead to an understanding of Infinity. 

The boundlessness that is only possible through knowing and remaining with your Heavenly Father. 

Less Than...

I am looking around the room at a bunch of people that are clueless.  I don't say that in a harsh manner... but it's true.  We all understand that there's a mystery.  That's why we are all there.  We all understand that there's something to figure out, but we are completely clueless.

Someone has been murdered.  We all know who did it, but no one has stood up and truly accepted the blame.  Funny enough... no one is pointing fingers either.  So we all sit around tables... talking and laughing and hugging and eating roasted chicken and pink cake... with yummers pink icing.

And inside most of us are struggling somehow, but we are happy to be in the same room eating dinner with people like us... with people that know the truth... with people that love us and encourage us... but the real truth doesn't change.

Someone has still been murdered.  And we lived to tell about it.   And we didn't deserve it.  If Angela Lansbury had been there or maybe even Professor Plum,  there may have been some closure.  To some there IS closure... 

the unspoken is many times the most harsh reality.

And then it happened... our leader emerged.  He called us all around and I was, quite honestly, a little nervous.  Would they look at me?  Would they think I was the one with the candlestick in the ballroom?  And I began to look around and notice all heads were slightly lowered.   All eyes were searching.

And our leader reminded us that we all are guilty.  And I realized that this wasn't a mystery at all.  Or at least HOW the man died wasn't a mystery.  And I was there to tell the story.  I was there to remember.  I was there to embrace the death and not let things go unspoken.  But why me?

For it is by grace that I was there in that room that night.

It is by grace that no one threw the first stone at that dinner.

It is by grace that I can walk with my head held high... all while understanding the mystery of the murder.  For the murder wasn't the end of the story.  And the murder wasn't the reason we were all gathered... although it played a large part.

It was by grace that Paul was shown mercy, so that the Kingdom could be glorified.

And it was by grace that I was chosen to lead, when I wasn't deserving of a leadership role.

BBs, the scene I described wasn't from a movie or a board game.  It was real life.  It was a leadership dinner... for our church.  Haven't you felt that way before though?  As if you didn't deserve to be somewhere?   Maybe it wasn't as dramatic as that... but you felt less than?

As I looked around, I saw a band of gypsies.  I saw a group of men and women that are wandering around in this world that is not our own.  I saw a broken mess of people sitting at tables. 

Imperfect. 

Undeserving. 

A group of misfits... called for leadership.

And isn't that what God does?

He picks the lowly.  

He picks the broken.  

He picks the murderers... 

to lead.

And I wonder how can it be?  And I started to understand that when someone is broken to the point of collapse... when someone is constantly stuck in the trenches... when I can. not. go on...

The beautifully broken do one thing.

We look up.  It's the only place to look when you've fallen down so much.

We fix our eyes as we run... in the mud and muck... on the one true King.

We come boldly on our hands and knees to the throne of the Living God.

We only have one direction... Up.

And in turn, we have no other choice but to lead.  

We have no other choice but to reap a harvest.

We have no other choice but to serve... for we are already on our hands and knees.

So why... you that are beautifully broken and on your knees... do you feel less than?

Boundaries… The Danger Of Saying “Whatevs

Boundaries are stinkin’ tough.  If you are anything like me, you don’t like to hurt people’s feelings.  If you are a lot like me, you hurt peeps’ feelings a lot with your honesty.  Usually by the time a boundary line has been crossed multiple times, your head is about to spin in a billion directions.  This topic came to mind as my family had to make some hard decisions regarding boundaries with family members.  Boundaries are tough for a Christian.  We think that turning the other cheek works in all situations and to be like Jesus, we should be kind always.   Now don’t get me wrong… this is true, but please remember one thing…  

Jesus warned friends harshly of the ripple effect of their actions. 

“You’d be better off to have not been born” is pretty clear to this BB (Matthew 26:24).

And Jesus cursed trees (Mark 11:14).

AND Jesus flipped tables (Mark 11:15).

This is where we make our mistake… Jesus was NOT always sunshine and roses.  He was without sin, but NOT without righteousness and the emotion that couples it.

Here’s the deal, BBs, we think because God is love and Jesus said that the greatest of these is love and so on and so on that love and kindness looks like a Sound of Music  or Brady Bunch scene.  BBs, is love not disciplining your child for a lie?  Is love not calling your husband out for stepping one foot towards a temptation that could destroy your marriage?  Is love not calling out a friend that speaks out of line towards another?  Is love not setting a boundary? 

Jesus set boundaries all of the time.

“Let the children come to me” was a boundary.  He rebuked the disciples’ actions (Matthew 19:13). 

“Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her” was a boundary.  He challenged the ones that were calling themselves righteous (John 8:7).

“Truly, truly, I say to you, before Abraham was, I am” was a boundary.  He set this boundary for false teachings and non-believers (John 8:58).  And they picked up stones.  And he hid.

He knew the danger of boundaries.  He hid, BBs.  He knew.  And he still knows today how hard it is to stand up for what it right.

The story gets complicated for a BB when we see the patterns of unhealthy.  BBs, we must be careful with creating a healthy "family" around us.  We can’t create perfection... which is what I expect of course... but we must set boundaries in a world that has learned to hide behind sugar-coated niceties and passive aggressive behavior… all of which is then given a facebook façade of perfection. 

I’m gonna get FO REALZ with ya now… this shapoopy has gotta GO.  All a lack of boundaries gives a BB is a petri dish of yuckers.  All saying “whatevs” does is sweep the yuckers under the rug. 

Here me once and for all, BBs…

Boundaries are OK! 

Now when setting these puppies up, we hafta go to God’s word.  AND we have to use the peeps in our lives on whom God threw discernment.  AND if a boundary is thrown up on us, we have to respect it and pray about it and trust that God will use it to His glory!  This is tough boundary business, but is it even more important today than it was thousands of years ago.  This world is a nasty place, and we all need to be kept in check from time to time!

We, believers, are living out His Kingdom right here on earth, so shake off the yuckers!  BBs, I challenge you to pray and get in tune with Jesus and his love and be strong in His love… then go flip a table or curse a tree if ya need to!  

Unveiled

So BB’s, we are in the middle of Holy Week!  Last night thousands of years ago, the Son of Man sat in an upper room and invited his friends to his table.  And let’s be real… these friends weren’t the cream of the crop.  They were true BB’s to the core.  Broken and messed up.  It was like the island of misfit toys up there.

They left everything to follow him. 

Some were hated.

One talked too much.

One questioned everything.

Some fought too much.

They bickered and were jealous of each other.

They vied for his attention.

They would fall asleep when he needed them most.

One would even betray him and have him killed.

But here’s the deal BB’s… he STILL invited them to the table.  He invited them to the most intimate dinner.  He knew their faults, yet he still washed their feet.  He was still a servant until the end.  He was still humble.  He adored them. 

Today he would have been turned over for crucifixion.  It’s Good Friday.  He was beaten.  He was tortured.  He was mocked.  And then he was beaten some more.  A crown of thorns was shoved on his head and his frail body was hung on a cross.  And in the evening when he breathes his last breathe, something happens. 

And when the sixth hour had come, there was darkness over the whole land until the ninth hour.  And at the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?” which means, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” And some of the bystanders hearing it said, “Behold, he is calling Elijah.”  And someone ran and filled a sponge with sour wine, put it on a reed and gave it to him to drink, saying, “Wait, let us see whether Elijah will come to take him down.” And Jesus uttered a loud cry and breathed his last.  And the curtain of the temple was torn in two, from top to bottom. And when the centurion, who stood facing him, saw that in this way he breathed his last, he said, “Truly this man was the Son of God!”  Mark 15:33-39

Do y’all catch that, BB’s?  When Jesus uttered his last cry, the curtain was torn.  The veil was lifted. 

Do you know what this means?  Your Savior beautifully broke down the wall between you and your almighty Creator.  Grace was extended to you.  You at your very worst are still loved SO much that God sacrificed his only son for YOU!

You have a place at His table.  Right now.  No matter what you have been through or how bad you think you are or how far away you think He is, you are invited to rest in His presence. 

You are invited to sit.  To rest.  To eat.  To drink.  To remember. 

And Sunday, BB’s, we celebrate!!