It's My Joy And You Can't Have It

Have you ever had one of those days... weeks... months... that it seemed that every person and every circumstance was trying to just drain the last bit of life and happy out of your body? We've all been there, right?

Sometimes it is illness or an accident that changes your life for a short or long period of time. Circumstances, that are completely out of your control, start to blow your house down like the pig's that was made of straw. 

Sometimes it is poor choices that are causing a ripple affect of consequences throughout your life. You are making good changes, but the effects are still washing over you with every wave. They leave you drowning in a sea of regret.

And other times it is a person that tries to steal your joy. I call these peeps Emotional Vampires. They suck and bleed you dry... sometimes intentionally and sometimes without meaning to deplete your spirit. They pick at you quietly or they don't respect your boundaries.

I have been through so many of these circumstances... my mother's cancer, loss of a brother to illness, divorce, bad decisions, and I'm pretty sure that I attract Emotional Vampires. The hardest for me to deal with are the things of which I have no control. Isn't that frustrating? The ole sneaky snake loves to attack from all fronts.

Last week, I shared some stories about being attacked by peeps I don't know. It wasn't them, y'all, it was satan attacking me. When I work hard for BB land and when you work hard for the Kingdom, you will be attacked! But that's a while nuther blog!

What it comes down to is that you will face things that bring you to your knees. You just will. And I'm so sorry for that. And for a brief time, you may feel like that problem or person will steal your sanity, and suck the living life out of you. But BBs, by the grace of God, those people and circumstances can NOT still your joy! How can I say that so boldly? Read this!

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

Galatians 5:22-23 

The FRUIT. One fruit. Within one Spirit. That lives in you if you have given your life to Jesus. The Bible says he dwells in you. That means hovers and sets up camp and isn't going anywhere.

One fruit of the Spirit.  Not kindness or joy or peace or patience, etc. ALL of it. God gave you the Holy Spirit and guess what BBs? He isn't going anywhere. Especially just because things get hard or because you are anxious or depressed or because you are attacked. You have the power of God living in you. And you were made for so much more than this life.

So, you have joy...period. It can't leave. There is no nasty person or difficult event or yuckers decision that is pushing that Spirit out of you. It's a done deal. You are washed in the blood of Jesus. So NO one can take your joy. 

They can try. Satan will... through people or things or circumstances, but it ain't gonna happen. How amazing is that! It just makes me want to throw on my tutu and do a big fat BB dance! 

So the next time you are tired and your eyes feel like there are no more tears to be shed and when you long for something more, remember... and pray. 

Holy Spirit, remind me of the joy in my heart that can never leave. I want to shout for joy and I want my tears to be shed in joy and not in pain. For pain has no place in my heart. Fill my heart with Your fruit that will never leave and never perish. Thank you for your grace. Thank you for your patience and love. Thank you for the power that you have placed in me. 

And then BBs, #letgo. 

Sticks and Stones...

Ya know what burns me up?  Mean girls.  I hated the show.  I hate the idea.  And I hate that mean girls make me want to be an even meaner girl.  Oh sweet Jesus, thank you for being so deep down in my heart because I could take the mean girl thing to a whole new level.  That 90's movie, Cruel Intentions, would look like Bambi in comparison.

My mom never told me "sticks and stones..." probably because it isn't true.  Peeps, words do hurt, don't they?  Even when spoken out of love.  Now I know that mommas were just trying to make kiddos stronger when bullies were on the prowl, but perhaps if we stopped and boogied around in someone else's shoes we wouldn't do a lot of what we do!

Our actions and our words are woven together to make us who we are.  Sometimes I'm not proud of things I've said or done.  I've prayed deeply about having the correct fire in my brunettish little soul.  I want a fire of God and not a fire of this world.  I want my life woven with goodness and mercy and not anger and resentment.

Here's the deal... we live in a world that is riveted by communication, but this new platform is a weak form of the art.  Social media and texting lend themselves to the writier having no tact and no filter.  Written communication, in the wrong hands, can be a dangerous weapon.  And we are raising a generation that is unclear on how to use their words.  And even more unclear on how to receive yours.

So what if we stopped and thought a second and asked ourselves some questions each time we spoke or posted on social media or texted? What if we took some real personal responsibility?

Would I want my momma to read that?

Would I want my daughter to read that?

Is this the legacy that I want to hand down?

Did God cringe when I typed that?

Am I being reactionary?

Am I posting this to build myself up?

Am I writing this out of love?  

Or perhaps as a healthy boundary?  

Will someone be better off because of what I said?

Am I working for the Kingdom through this?

Will my children be proud to look back at my actions?

Am I acting as if I want future generations to act?

Words hurt. And in some instances, they kill.  (And that's not a stretch). According to the CDC, there is one death by suicide in the US every 12.3 minutes. And considering that depression affects 20-25% of Americans ages 18+ in a given year (CDC), the odds aren't looking good!  

Can you even wrap your head around those stats? We have no idea what someone else is going through. We may dislike them, wish they weren't around, wish our lives were difference, but we will never completely know their story. We have absolutely no idea how our words (intentionally ugly or not) will hurt them. 

So where are you with all of this?

Maybe you just need to filter a little bit. I hope that's the case. That's where I am. I really, really try to stop and think before I post. I'm not always good at it though.  

Maybe you need to simply pray over a pattern of selfish posting. Girl, I get that too!! I've been there! And it is so fixable!

Maybe you are posting and texting and hurting on purpose. And ya know what? The person might even deserve it, but no good comes from harming others. Take a second and look at your own heart and ask God to search you and know you and create a new heart within you. I betcha a big fat cheeseburger that it'll change your life. #letgo

I want to fully surrender in this area. I want to #beintentional with my words and actions. And regardless of where you are with your words, I am praying for you today. Truly I am. And for myself to be better about it as well. 

I want us all to shine like bright stars throughout BB land cause there's a whole lotta darkness out there.

A kind man benefits himself, but a cruel man brings trouble on himself.  Proverbs 11:17

Finding Beauty In The Broken

Yesterday, I sat down for lunch, wrote a Facebook post about being intentional, and then a social media battle began.  Not with that post, but with another from Twitter.  I don't usually share these kind of tales, but God worked on my heart in this situation and turned an anxiety producing incident into something beautiful.  But I had to stick with my plan.  #beintentional

The tweet read, "Don't believe everything that you see. Even salt looks like sugar." 

There was more, of course. This by itself is bland and unsalty. But BBs, this and even more yuckers was tweeted about me. And our blog. And ya know what? It's true. Our blog sometimes looks sugary sweet. But here's the truth. We are a hot broken mess. 

And the beautiful thing is that our brokenness is exactly what started this blog! And more importantly our friendship over the broken mess. And what keeps us posting and writing? Our friendship with you and our love of our Savior that delivered us from this broken mess. I so so love being a part of BB land!

One thing I have learned through this blog is to let go. Letting go of the unimportant is what allows us to fly! 

Forgive and forget that nasty social media post.

Let go of that opinion. It's just that... an opinion. 

Don't dwell on the past. Or the present. Or the future. Cause that's God's job. 

Let go of that thing holding you back. 

Now does this mean to go through life with reckless abandon?  Absolutely not. 

Instead, let go for a while and allow God's light to fill that void. 

Let Him make your brokenness more beautiful. Let Him bottle and collect those tears in jars... For you. 

Quit allowing things of the world to affect, and even more detrimentally, suck away your joy. 

#Beintentional. 

Find the beautiful in the broken. That's what this blog is all about. Praising the One that was broken for us. Praising His grace for us for making our nasty ole selves clean.

Now understand that brunettish BB has a fire like no other. And often it can be used for not-so-good. I've been so praying over controling my fiery spirit and letting the fire of God take over my thoughts and heart.  

So I read that social media post over. And over. With new eyes. "Fire of God" eyes.

And through prayer, I was intentional about finding the beauty in something ugly. 

And all of a sudden, I was inspired. 

Be the salt. God called me to be salt. God called you to be salt. I want the BB site to flavor up your day like the best seasoning salt on the shelf. 

Jesus tells us...

“You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot. You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden.”

Matthew 5:13-14 NIV

And even more so, I want this blog, just like salt, to preserve. I want the Word of God preserved in our hearts. I want it to grow and fester so that you can be a strong BB light!!!

So I'm welcoming the salt. Bring it on!!

From now on... Call this BB Salty Spice. HA!!

Now run along and #beintentional today!! 

Spice things up BBs!! 

Go find the beautiful in the broken!! 

Be Intentional

Happy New Year, BBs!  Can you believe we are already starting a new year?  This BB does not do resolutions, so this year I thought that I'd try something a bit new.  A word for the year.  Something to help me focus and grow and be a better BB.  

Ohhhhh, but what word to choose?  Some of my friends chose daring.  Fabulous, right?  Another chose grace.  What a beautiful focus that is.  This was tough for me, but I was determined to do it.  I wanted a theme for the year and I wanted to share it with you guys!  So I prayed and prayed over all of BB land.  What would the word be?

Over the past few weeks, the word intentional had been circling around in my brain like a vulture ready to pounce my dumbs dumbs.  It popped up in devotionals and prayer.  It lingered through conversation.  It was even focused on in a sermon during the last week of advent.  Now that was the final straw.

Y'all, it would...  Not... Go away.  

And it seemed too drab.  Intentional.  That's not as fun as daring and not beautiful as grace.  But what if I was just looking at it all wrong.  What if each of us was intentional each and every day?  Intentional in loving.  Intentional in true compassion.  Intentional in prayer.  Intentional in being healthy.  Intentional in our work.

It is what makes that grocery store trip more fun because you take time to laugh and joke with the cashier.  Each of you walk away better for the five minutes spent together.  

It is what makes that plane ride with too many littles toddling by your side more bearable.  You are intentional with prayer (instead of just throwing your hands up and asking Jesus to come back right that second), and God calms your heart and mind.  

It is what makes that diet and exercise bearable.  You make a plan and suddenly God is opening up time slots just for you to squeeze in that workout and that food doesn't look so bad when you think of it as your daily bread. 

Being intentional creates open places where joy can creep in and makes every day experiences more fulfilling.  It doesn't take away the "fly by the seat of your pants" side of things.  No, instead, it adds spice to all things BB.

Being intentional opens the door for God to work your life on an even greater scale! Goodness knows, He was intentional when creating us!  And He had a plan so save us all along.  

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,I know that full well.

Psalm 139:14

So, BBs, I invite you on this journey of being intentional.  This is going to be messy.  I plan every week on Monday morning about 8 a.m, and by 8:15 it's gone to H E double hockey stick in a hand basket.  I go where the wind takes me most of the time and I like it.  It's my jam.  

But this year, I'm going to be intentional.  I'm going to be taking baby steps with my BB, Jenny, and I want each of you to follow along!  We will have blogs posts from here and other sites.  We will have the same ole funny and inspiration pictures and quotes.  We will even have funny farm stories from my blog and health and wellness updates from Jenny's blog.

This is going to be fun journey through being intentional in twelve areas: Letting go, loving, wellness, grace, growing, relationships, compassion, moderation, rest, prayer, thanking, shining.

Let's move towards being intentional in body, mind, and soul!

Is intentional not ringing fabulously in your ears? Chose your own word for the year, and then follow us and be intentional about letting your word for the year shine through all of BB land!

This month, we are going to look at being intentional in letting go.  The first step towards shining through 2016 that the super stars God made us!

So thankful for each an every BB!  We love you all!

XOXO,

Anna

The Joy Of The Shepherds

At 3 a.m. on Christmas morning, while all other peeps where nestled peacefully in their beds, I was in the horse pastures wading around in mud juggling horses. I was mad and resentful and just wanted to go "night, night."

I was also a little nervous... not of being alone in the dark (that part was quite peaceful)... I was was scared of the unknown. The unknown event that lurks around every corner when you are caring for and managing animals during the nasty rain. 

I've witnessed a horse harmlessly roll to itch his back and 45 minutes later have to be put down because he twisted his intestine while rolling. 

I've found my daughter's pony too weak to stand in the quiet hours of the morning. 

I've had to lure my blind horse to safer ground when she became disoriented in the pasture. 

I've walked in to feed to find my childhood horse shivering in shock when a tumor became too much for her body to bear. 

Terrifying moments and emergencies fill my mind. In the quiet of the Christmas morning, all I could think about was the "what ifs." What might lurk around the corner to harm this peaceful and holy day.  

As I looked up at the heavens and saw the bright stars, I prayed desperately for God to protect these unpredictable creatures and spare me, if even for a day, the sick sinking feeling in my stomach of finding one of them in danger. 

I began to give them hay and slowly walk them to their paddocks. In the dark it took a lot of talking and comforting for the easily startled beasts to trust the path I chose for them. In the darkness of the morning, my horses went from startled and nervous, to calm and content. 

My nerves settled and I became overjoyed by the calmness that was all around. The crunching of hay and gentle snorts where a joyous sound... the sound of safety, security and quiet that could only be appreciated because I had experienced overwhelming fear of the unknown. 

Then suddenly at 3 a.m. on Christmas morning, while all other peeps where nestled peacefully in their beds, I was in the pastures.  I was no longer mad and resentful. I was no longer nervous. I was no longer scared of the unknown. I was consumed by peace and joy and excitement because it was Christmas morning. YAY for CHRISTMAS!!!

In that moment, I realized why God chose the lowly shepherds to be the first to witness His arrival to Earth. Those humble shepherds felt the sickening fear when the Angels appeared. This unexpected event that could scare, kill, or maim their precious sheep. 

Luke describes them as "terrified." Terrified is a fo sho helpless way to feel when you are caring for animals. The angel of the Lord said, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people." (Luke 2:9-10). 

Those shepherds fully appreciated this great joy because they had experienced the fear. They understood the peace because they had endured the fatigue. They had been treated by society as inferior, ignoble, and subordinate. God put them in a place of favor, honor, and dignity. 

They were honored as the first to see Christ the King lying in the manger. They experienced being inferior, so they truly appreciated being favored. They had experienced fear, so they welcomed and embraced joy. 

At 4 a.m. on Christmas morning, I climbed into my bed and snuggled under my covers knowing that it's okay to be fearful, and tired, and stressed, and even terrified because it's those experiences that have allowed me to truly know the Joy and Peace of Christ's birth.  

Peeps, it's difficult being a Princess of the Kingdom when you feel like a lowly Shepherdess.  Just trying to keep all our sheep in a row can be completely overwhelming.  It often leaves us broken down, broken hearted, and down right hopeless.  But our sweet Savior invited the lowest and most exhausted and broken to meet Him first!!

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

Matthew 11:28 

Stop and follow the star.  If you haven't already, take time to do it now.   Just think how beautiful that peace and joy will feel as it seeps into your heart and renews your soul.  Just like the shepherds, take your tired self to the manger and just sit awhile.  And make room for the King.  By golly, the sheep can wait.

.

Tis The Season

So, it's Christmas Eve and for the past few weeks, I've been diving into some super amazing scripture about prophecy and real life grace.  It's always a bit overwhelming, but I have so been trying to soak in the Christmas story.  Tis the season, right BBs?

I completely long to not miss this important day!!  And then it hit me like a big ole ton of bricks.  I began to really see the story of grace that is laid before us with the birth of Christ.

BBs, Can I just want to talk just one hot minute about the five women in Jesus's lineage? Sometimes they are lost amongst the sheep and the angels singing and whatnot.  Open your Bible up to Matthew 1 and try not to be bored senseless through the endless naming of all these peeps.  But, please don't miss these five women.

Now I'm guessing you are in one of two camps.  Camp one is all like, "Look, little BBs, we totes know all about these women and why they are listed and all the whatnots."  And camp two is more like, "You lost me at Matthew 1:2."

Whichever camp you are in, bear with me just for a few hundred shakes of a lamb's tail.  Not too long ago at Easter, I wrote about wanting to be a "Mary."  Here's the deal.  

Some days I'm all like Mary Magdalene throwing my crayola demons aside to follow my Savior.  Sometimes I'm like the Mary that poured sweet perfume on Jesus's feet.  And even sometimes I'm like His momma, Mary, that quietly supported her son and savior to the death.

Reality hits, however, each Christmas.  And I realize that I'm less like a Mary and more like these fools listed in Matthew. I read these names in this long line of decedents of our Immanuel.  

First up... Tamar.  I read of her vial deceit... pretending to be a prostitute and sleeping with her FIL just to gain an inheritance.  Goodness, I'd never be like her!

I move on to Rahab.  Well, more prostitution going around.  More difficult convos with the kiddos about this woman as we read through the women listed in Jesus's genealogy.  She is all about selling things she just need not sell to make this whole story PG.

Then there's Bathsheba.  She makes me super mad.  Mostly because of David.  I mean, come on, dude, get your crapola together.  You're stinking awesome and then you have to go and pull this R rated nonsense with this hot chick flaunting around in a bathtub.

Now Ruth, I adore.  She is more like it, right?  But in reality, she is somewhat foolish with her loyalty and fervor.  She is super duper determined and sometimes even brazen for a non-important widower with no real rights.  I'm guessing she shook up the town square with her determination.

And finally, we have Mary.  She is a quiet one, isn't she?  I mean, sheesh.  She gives birth to a king and has to manage a family with this little precious Savior running around.  She is to be adored, right?  

And I look at these women and I realize that it's not about some grading scale of how good they are.  It's not about all the "wrongs" lining up with all of the "rights."  These women are a big ole hot mess that have been deep fried in coo coo for cocoa puffs.  They are broken... just like ME!  So what's it all about?

It's about grace.

This season, we bow on our scarred up and unworthy knees at the foot of an infant Savior. 

We are given a King... an eternal King that humbles himself by entering this undeserving world as a tiny baby in a nasty ole stable.

We are Tamar, Rahab, and Bathsheba and it doesn't even matter.  Not only did he come here for us, he listed us quite proudly in his lineage. 

You see, he takes our broken mess and makes it beautiful.  He has since the world began, and He still is today. It's not that He doesn't care that we are a bunch fo mess ups.  Goodness knows we break his heart daily... perhaps hourly or more.  But He loves us THAT much.  

He loves us enough to make our broken mess beautiful.  And He loves us enough to dwell among us.  

Let this Christmas be a reminder that the Immanuel is here.  

Immanuel.  God with us.

Plain and simple.  

Not "God with us" if we do these great things.

Not "God with us" if we don't screw up.

Not "God with us" if we are good enough.

Us.  The prostitute and the priest.  The housewife and the day laborer.  The American and the Arab.  The broken and the beautiful. 

God with us.

Immanuel.

So beautifully and simply.  God with us.  

“The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel” (which means “God with us”).”

Matthew 1:23 NIV

   

I'm "THAT" Mom

Dear 7:30 a.m. School Moms In Perfectly Matching Outfits Sipping On Your Second Cup Of Coffee,

Today, as I pulled up in car line at school and looked at all of the matching school t-shirts, my heart sank.  I had forgotten today was the field trip, and my little girl needed her school t-shirt.  Oh yes, she will be boldly rocking turquoise amongst the sea of yellow shirts.  (At least I'll be able to find her in the pictures as I face palm).

Driving home, I realized something...

I am that mom.

I'm the mom that forgets about field trips.

I'm the mom that frightens Kindergarten moms with my F350 in car line.

I'm the mom that doesn't care if my child is dressed to perfection, unless it's an important event. And I always let her do her own hair.

I'm the mom that doesn't care if my child sings in the school performance if she doesn't really want to.

I'm the mom that helps with projects, but doesn't do them for my kiddo... so they occasionally look like a serial killer cut and pasted a message together.

I'm the mom that doesn't spend much on gifts and they will look like a trained ape wrapped them.

I'm the mom that doesn't provide costumes with elaborate design and detail.  Our cat costume may not even have a tail and I'm okay with that.

I'm the mom that lets my child sew and create and then lets her actually appear in public with hand appliquéd "monograms" that look like chicken scratch.  

I'm the mom that keeps a calendar in September and then loses it by October.

My house isn't clean.

My clothes sometimes don't even match...but at least I put them on.

And I might sit on my off day and drink a mimosa slap in the middle of the day, because...

I'm just THAT mom.  

But one thing I realized today, is that being that mom only helps you out!  

First of all, you always have me to refer to when you need to remember that you are a "got it all together" kinda mom.  I envy your ways, but I doubt that I'll be changing anytime soon.  I like my imperfect attempts at parenting.  And most days, I enjoy running around a hot mess in green chucks. 

It's real life.  And I promise you that I'll never be afraid to show my child and yours that I'm just not perfect.  And in the long run, I think that's important to both of us.  It gives our kiddos a safe place to fall. 

Second, you can be assured that I'm not that mom because I'm lazy.  I just have a different agenda.  You don't have to be frightened by my haphazard non-PTO volunteering ways or my dirty cowboy boots or my rock star husband.  

I sincerely look at the bigger picture and want our kiddos to be, well... kiddos.  Not that you don't... I just have different gifts and talents.  My hot mess skills just seem to outway my organizational skills.  

And today I'm embracing those talents and no longer hiding behind the exhaust of my big truck or the guise of cute shoes.  I'm coming out of the closet... well, so to speak.

I am proclaiming to you that I am officially that mom...

I am the mom that will let your kids run through my house with muddy shoes.

I am the mom that will toss our kids outside and push them to go on a ghost hunt through the woods or make forts or whatevs.

I am the mom that will let the kids make s'mores in the living room.

I am the mom that will unplug the internet, when the outside world gets too overwhelming.

I am the mom that will volunteer and love your child during every single children's church event when you're exhausted from serving at school.

I am the mom that will laugh at all the borderline inappropriate things your kid laughs at, but also draw the line when needed.

I am the mom that will watch our kiddos like a hawk, and step in if hormones or the world or anything unJesus-like starts creeping in.  

I will not be afraid to discipline with love and I will be loyal to you to a fault.

I am THAT mom.

And I'm ready to embrace all of our roles, because let's face it... I need you, as much as you need me.  You need me to be that as much as I need your holiday cookies and your matching clothes and your dedication to making copies in the school office and your chaperoning skills and your warm body at the events that I just can't attend. 

It takes a big tribe to raise these kids.  And sometimes our imperfections are exactly what they need to feel a big ole dose of grace and love.  So today I make a promise to you that I am and will continue to do my best at being that mom.

Sincerely,

Mom Of The Kid That Will Be Standing Out Like A Sore Thumb In Your Field Trip Pictures